Silence.

You know, Brother Kidd is an amazing teacher, probably the best. His lessons leave deep impressions on me that I remember and apply to my life always, so today in seminary when he said he wasnt going to be teaching I was very confused! Little did I know that I would be hearing from a different teacher, one who knows me better then myself, one who loves me unconditionally and who knew exactly what I needed to hear!

One of the biggest difficulties I personally have struggled with for as far back as I can remember is forgivness. Recently all of the powers of the advesary had led me to believe that I had truly forgiven everyone who has hurt me, eventually I was even lying to myself.

" I forgive them, but I dont love them" became one of my most common thoughts. Today, however I learned just how wrong that is,and I learned what it means to forgive, forgivness IS love!

That truth can be demastrated ofcourse by Jesus Christ. How many times a day do I offend him? How many tears has he shed on my account and how much pain have I really caused him? And yet, he still loves me.

So how then, can I beleive that I dont owe that same respect to people who have offended me, who I have shed tears on account of and who cause me pain. Just as he suffered for my sins and I can repent, he suffered for their sins and they can repent! He only knows whats in their hearts and why they have made the choices they've made. He will make the final decisions, he will forgive who ever he forgives, but as for me, it is essential that I forgive everyone, regardless of if they're not sorry or if they continue to do the things that I once felt in my little pridful mind, were unforgivable.

Letting go of all of these emotions will be so hard, but I can only imagine how much more grief it causes the lord to see me feel that way and think that way, it has now become MY sin that I in fact, need to repent for. Jesus Christ lives, he suffered every pain so that we could become like him, and today in silence I learned what he meant when he said, "love one another AS I have loved you"

I love seminary, And the beautiful blessing it is in my life!

Sweet silver lining.

So Im gonna be honest fot a sec, when I saw that cast list today, Im pretty sure my heart sank into my stomack!  Actulally a little before that when dear parker high fived everyone next to me and then looked at me awkwardly and walked away ( but actually THAT was hilarious and it made my day) Inot making it  was just a little bit disopointing. I had been working really hard and I really wanted it! But this post is not a huge rant about not being good enough or wishing id made it or anything of the sort. This post is about how allie offered to go see tangled with me the second she found out i didnt make it. Its about how no matter what drama is going on in my family, there all there for me the second I need them. And its about the comfort that comes from getting on my knees and saying a prayer. Im not just talking about Seusical rite now. Recentley my life has been a little bit complicated. Ive been stressing and worrying and feeling sad alot lately and I think that in a weird way, the small disopointment of not making the play made me see how blessed I am.
    One night last year I woke up from what was probably one of the harderst things I would ever have to go through, that next morning, I felt so dead, so numb, I didnt want to feel anything anymore because I decided if  I felt nothing I wasnt feeling pain. But fortunatly it was a sunday and I could not ignore the immense prompting that I needed to go to church . Going that day was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I realized that the Lord was always there for me and that night, being the cheesy girl that I am, I made a wish on a star. Do you wanna know what I wished for? I wished that I would always be able to see the good in my life. Im pretty sure that wish can come true whenever I want it too. Im thankful for the mysterious ways in which the Lord works and for this little expirience that I needed and that I grew from. And now I have this awesome little movie moment because as I was wrighting this the perfect little Kate Voegle song came on, its by far one of my favorites:
" I may be week but Im never deafeted and Ill keep defeating the clouds with that sweet silver lining"

Dear Kylie...

This is not who you think it is, in fact, this is not Kylie Smith at all! This is Allie Shumway, her third best friend in the whole wide world! I just thought everyone should know how great she is, so I hacked her blog! Anyways, if you don't know how wonderful and great Kylie is, then you should, I mean, its obvious! Here are some of my favorite things about her!
1. Kylie is a beautiful daughter of God who many people look up to, including me.
2. She is one of the very few people cool enough to make up little fantasy worlds with me, like putting our life into Beauty and the Beast!
3. She is beautiful, on the inside and out.
4. She makes everyone feel good about themselves.
5. She finds the good in people, and can never see the faults.
6. Kylie just loves people. Anyone. I mean, she can go outside, find a kid sitting in a tree, and be his friend. (Yep, that happened.)
7. She has great shoes. I love them. Too bad we don't wear the same shoe size.
8. Kylie has opinions that she isn't afraid to share.
9. Kylie is super funny! I can randomly remember things she does days later, and start laughing uncontrollably.
10. She is my sister. Ok, not really, but we like to pretend.
This list is getting really long, and it could go forever, so I should probably just stop at 10. Anyways, I pretty much love her to death! She is amazing! I love your guts deary, and don't ever forget it!

I call her Giselle:)

So there is this beautiful, amazing Gorgous girl named maddie! Some people call her sue, some people call her Madeline and some people call her Madison Ameila, but I call her Giselle. I decided that everyone as wonderful and amazing as her needs some sort of an ode type thing to them so here is my strange attempt:
1. Maddie is a red-head. you guys dont even know how cool that is
2. Shes not just a redhead, shes a short red- head!!
3. She has literally the best taste in music, nobody's ever heard of the bands she listens to but then their amazing!
4. Maddie is so nice and welcoming to everyone.
5. Maddie is like a flipping great dancer!
6.. When she sees parkers face....she wants to throw up, but its even worse when she sees shirleys unattractive muscles!!:)
7. She is the only one who would ever be willing to do weird things with me, like plan all of our friends futures or run through a freak rainstorm screaming and singing!
8.  I could write millions of other things about Maddie!
9. She is an AMAZING friend, and she is always there for me when I need her or even when I just feel like complaining to someone, she gives great advice and is THE best listener!
10. She has an amazing testimony that inspires mine and everyones all of the time! Shes not afraid to share it! And you can tell she knows who she is!
Mads, I love you! Thank you for everything! All i can say is that im pretty blessed to have THE most amazing friends ever!
love, Belle

Choosing.

Hello world, sorry I havnt been paying much attention to you lately. You see, basically all of my thoughts have been about ME, what  I'M struggling with, things, I cant do, problems  I'm having, so on and so forth. we usually think of selfishness as vanity but sometimes its just when you think of nothing but your trials and your own life. I have been pretty selfish lately. I havn't been paying attention to others, or trying to help them out. I live in a bubble. Im used to having the world at my finger tips, I'm used to it being a huge deal if I struggle with a test, if I have drama with friends and family or if I dont,make a dance company or a play. The things I complain about are things that others would rejoice over,because they have had so much worse. I have been having a hard time because I have CHOSEN to have a hard time! We often think of happyness as a destination, we think well be happy as soon as this trial ends, as soon as this person changes, as soon as I get this. or whatever. But the fact is, happyness is not a destination, it is a choice that each of makes every day. We can't control our circumstances, or what happens to us. But we decide how we let it affect us! So today, Im choosing to be happy. Im choosing to be thankful for family members who support me, thankful for the fact that I live in America and enjoy the most comfortable life style possible. Thankful that I have The greatest friends. Thankful for music and movies and other stupid little things that make my day! Thankful for a million other things I take for granted, and over all, thankful that I have the gospel in my life, and despite what I CHOOSE to think at times, I am never alone! Im CHOOSING to be happy, CHOOSING to be greatful, CHOOSING to enjoy my life, and CHOOSING to smile every day!

Confessions of a true blogger nerd!

I have recently learned how addictive blogging is. I was inspired by my dear friend Madison Ameilia Hyde, her blog is great and cool and mine will never compare. Its only been a month since I started this blasted thing and I already think in blog posts, its ridiculous! If anyone is reading this then they know way to much about me! They now that I am a freak! They know about my weird socail events and oh so strange family! You guys, I am sorry! I post way to often I post about anything and everything! And I realize you all probobly so dont care! but I just love blogging and people who have blogs! Its great, it really is!

Another molly post!

In the story of Gethsemene in the bible it says, " And their appearend an angel unto him from heaven strengthening him" ( Luke 22:43) and so you see even jesus needed angels to help him out, no earthly expirience can even kind of compare to his suffering in that garden, but for all of my little minni Gethsemenes I am so gratful that I to have" angels from heaven strengthening me" only I dont call them angels, I call them friends and family.
  to young womens leaders, past and current- thank you for always being there for me and for taking time out of your busy lives to  listen to me, for your oh so great council and beautiful example!
to two former teachers who saw things in me that I didnt even see in myself- thank you, thank you,thank you for  showing me all that I could be and helping me open my heart! You guys are amazing!
To my beautiful second cousin/sister Mckell- I love you! Im so glad that weve had each other through everything! You are a beautiful example to me! Thank you for showing me that you can always find happyness and for all of the wonderful fake shopping!:)
To my efy family- thank you for the expiriences I will never forget and the friendships that made me want to be better!
to my original Br1 ward girls-  Thank you for the unconditional friendship and all of the expiriences that have  truly shaped who I am!
To my ' sisters', mads, als, kay, mandy, and lesha-  Thank you for singing hymns at parties, for pulling our your scrptures during luch and for never being afraid to stand up fpr whats right, and for looking at me like Im an idiot when I question the power of prayer, your amazing examples! love ya!
To my actual   family- thank you for all of your love and all of the laughs, I am truly blessed to have so many amazing cousins, siblings, granparents and aunts and uncles who have always been here for me, I love you all!
 This doesn't even begin to cover how much I love you all and how much you have all really and truly made a difference in who I am! I only hope that I can be half as good to you guys as youve all been to me, I am SOOOO blessed. I hope you guys never question that your amazing, because you are, never question if you can make a difference because you can, and never question that you are angels in every sense of the word! Thank you for helping me through all of my trials and showing me how I should be! I love you, I love you, I love you!