For Now.

Today I layed in my closet, histarically laughing at what I had just discoverd...I'm sure you've noticed I'm completely and totally a dork! But just in case you havn't,  I did make a list of exactly what my husband would be like...when I was six years old..yep, had a drawing and everything! I was cool huh?:)
      But the reason this was so funny to me wasn't because of how great the list was, or because my beautiful art.  It was because that is so typical Kylie! Having everything planned out before its even close to being here! trying to control the future even though its not up to me.

       For some reason I think I get to plan everyones future and control all of the things that have yet to come. I think I get to know what people are going to feel at certain times and how they will respond to me even though, all that that does is make me have a certain plan in my head, and when reality hits and the plan is not executed the way I had pictured, I get disopointed.

      But the thing is, hevenley father has  made all of the plans for me already. As long as I am righous, everything will go according to his plan!  He doesn't need me to decide what my collage expirience will be like, or what Im doing senior year or how my next audition is going to go, because he has it covered!  Even though it may be hard for me. I need to let go of the desire to control everything and just let him worry about it! I mean really, he's got this! All that he needs from me is to have faith that all the things that happen are always for a reason, and he will never deal me anything that I cant handle! I need to worry about being who I need to be now, and trust that, that will benifit my future!

       So Im done now! I dont need to worry about the things that are distant and out of my control! I just need to worry about  Kylie Pat Smith, the ninth grader at Lehi Jr. High school who ADORES her siblings and has the greatest friends on the planet! The girl who willingly practices piano for four hours a day and has a secret desire to be serenaded with out of my leage. She is all that I can control rite now and I need to worry about her. I dont need to plan for who she'll be, I just need to better who she is now!