White as snow.

Last week, I sat around a familiar tree, with a familiar group of people. Because these people are all 16 years of age, the topic often circles back to that of driving. Each time we reach that conversation, I wait for the jab or mocking glare from P skousen. You see, he's seen me make some of the most terrible mistakes a driver can make and he's not very keen to let me forget them. But even, that left-side-of-the-road-can't-find-the-stop-sign incident he witnessed, was absolutely nothing compared to the many mistakes my father has seen me make in a motor vehicle.

The other day, I made such a mistake while backing out. Yet again i had caused damage to his car and I had done everything my very patient dad has repeatedly taught me not to do. When I talked to him about it a few seconds later, I fully expected there to be well deserved anger and frustration in his tone.

Instead, he just told me how to fix the problem, let me know everything was going to be okay, and even, gave me back the keys and let me try again.

My earthly father, was an absolutely beautiful representation of our heavenly father!

We all make mistakes, do things he has specifically taught us not to do, and sometimes, we even repeat mistakes from our pasts.

When we do, our father is not there to condemn us. He's not there to taunt us, or to make us feel inadequate because of our short-comings. just like my dad, he is there to love us, to remind us of the way back, and to help us start over when we fall short of the people we should be.

As someone who has fallen short countless times in my life time, I can testify that repentance is real. It is real because of our elder brother, Jesus Christ. No matter how far we feel we've strayed, how many ways we feel we have sinned, or how hopeless we feel we are, we will never sink below Jesus christ' atonement, or below our eternal father's perfect love for us.

I am so grateful to have this gospel in my life. And so grateful for the forgiveness which is constantly bestowed on me from my earthly family as well as from my heavenly parents!

The church is true guys. Know it. Live it and love it, because he loves you, I promise!

Heyyy Mattie Jane.....

Today, I found a really cute, worn out little Teddy bear. It reminded me of 1st grade.. And 3rd grade..and 7th grade! You see, so many of my most amazing memories are wrapped up in that thing! Just like theyre wrapped up in songs about cantelope, and in failed sledding adventures,and in the fray and high heels, and St.. George trips, but mostly, just, in you my dearest Mattie Jane cilvia guam Irish!! Growing up by your side has been an absolute delight and a pleasure! I can't believe how much we've made it through together, and I can't wait until we are crazy old ladies! You will probably chase me around the nursing home trying to hit me with your Kane! But I wouldn't have you any other way! You will always be my 74th cousin, and one of my dearest friends in this world! And I love you!

....just sayin.....

music is a magic thing!

Sunshine and 70's Music.

This blog is named after my childhood nickname, smiley, But lately, I have not lived up to that title at all! I've been ornery, pessimistic, angry, hurt and everything in between! Yes! grumpy teachers, family drama, and silly high school clicks have caused me to be everything except smiley!

Luckily for me, my best friends and sweet family make it impossible for that beastliness to last very long:) and if a visit to the temple and an attempted date with a fantastic young man wasn't enough to lift my spirits, there was also that lehi game turned wingers trip and that insane vintage dance party that followed! Not too mention the text from miss Kimmee wade, that kept me screaming for minutes on end:)

Always remember to look up, to count your blessings, and to never take anything for granted! because no matter how tough it gets, everything will be happy in the end, and if it's not happy, than it's not the end!:)

Obsessed.

For good.

"there's no place like home, there's no place like home"


Like so many others, those four words were a big part of my childhood! And although I will always love the original "Wizard of Oz" About 2 years ago, I learned to look at that same lovely story in a completely different way when I saw "Wicked" for the first time.
In case you didn't know, wicked is easily the best thing ever to hit a stage:) and because my auntie spoils me absolutely rotten, last night, I had the glorious opportunity to go and see it again with some of my favorite people on planet earth:)
Although, I could comment forever on just how much I love those crazy ozians, that is not the point of this post:), the point is to talk about about just one song ..my favorite song in wicked, and quite possibly of all time. ....The song is "For Good" (as I'm sure the title didn't give away at all:). It's sung at the end when the time comes for 2 former best friends, to say goodbye, and close the part of their lives that the other person was a part of.
I was incredibly thankful today, to have the amazing lyrics of that song stuck in my head, as I had to say a pretty difficult final goodbye to someone who is a huge part of my past.
Although I know that I will see this person again in this life time, and my situation is not half as extreme as those magic ladies, it's still a chapter of my life that's closed now...or maybe, one that has been closed for a very long time, and I'm just now accepting it.
In any event, it was a tough blow, and while I was priding myself entirely on not bursting into tears, trust me, I wanted too! Somewhere in between the wondering why and the painful trips down memory lane, I thought again and again of these words:


"let me say before we part, so much of me, is made of what I learned from you....you'll be with me, like a hand print on my heart, and now whatever ways our stories end, just know you have re -written mine by being my friend."

No matter what happens, the lord knows when we need people and why we need them, and even if they arent in our lives forever, The people who touch our lives, touch them forever and FOR GOOD:)

A State of optimism

         It's a constant battle in my life. And honestly, I think it's a constant battle for all of us. At every point in time.  there is Something that's not going quite right. Hence, every day we are making a choice. A choice to find the sweet silver lining, or to let the darkness in our lives be more important than the light, personally, I think the first is the best option.

        If you want to be happy, you will be. And that happy will shine through you, to the point that those around you, have no choice but to be happy too! So love yourself, love those you are around! Love the good in your life, and even, love the bad. After all, all of it, is what makes you, "you" and all of you are amazing! 

     Be happy now, because happy is a choice, not a destination:)