Team no sleep

Hello, my name is procrastinator. Usually, I go by Kylie, except for when it's 11:45 at night and I'm studying for a major test. Medical Anatomy and physiology  is the name of the game, and right now, it's got my wernike's on overload processing things like the midsagital plane, and the cranial cavity. AKA, my brain is buzzy and it refuses to focus. I know I'll pay for my procrastination tomorrow when I have to spend my lunch time in the library with the awkward man librarian. And when I feel sleepy and my mood is somewhere in between Cruella Dev'il and Tom Riddle. Even knowing that though, doesn't change the fact that I'm blogging and insta stalking instead of butrrying my head In page sixteen of Gerard Tutora's textbook. Whoops.

Backstreets back.

YOU GUYYYYYYYYS

the greatest band in the world

AKA the loves of my life.

AKA they who define perfection.

Have a new album!!!!!

If you don't know what I'm talking about, then we are probably not friends.

It's gonna be a long hot summer.

Basically, I've never loved anything more than these crazy little tan lines I've got all over the place. Except maybe spending time with baby sis. Add in fireworks, camping trips, and country music and I think it's safe to say that I'm in love with this season. 

JUNIORS

Yesterday I spent a whole hour of my life BAWLING, watching the office finale! You know, I didn't even watch that show.

Spencer says that's because I'm just too sentimental for my own good, and the way I'm feeling right now tells me that he is probably right. But now, I'm not sad sentimental, in fact just the opposite. I'm the kind of sentimental that makes me ecstatic, and filled with more joy and hope and gratitude than I've ever felt! That wasn't the way I was feeling walking through those LHS doors in the fall! Probably, that's because then, I didn't know how much I loved Jazz N Place and TTCU. I didn't know how much I really want to teach special education, I didn't even know how therapeutic nutella parties at Lindsey's could be! This year taught me not to take myself too seriously, and how to be in love with every second of my life! I can't wait for the adventures SENIOR YEAR will bring, I know for a fact that they involve all of these amazing people:)

Elder days

My thought process is basically like this:

Where is Kaden's letter?!
Why hasn't Christian written in 2 weeks?
Josh did WHAT?!
Where is Kaden's letter?
Why is Cole sending me a picture of a duck?
They fed Ty WHATTT?!
Must refresh my email.
WHERE IS KADEN'S LETTER?!



This whole mission thing has left me friendless, dateless, brotherless and sanity-less! It's the good thing the church is true. Otherwise I wouldn't let them leave!

He's grown a foot or two.

Just laying here on this cozy little couch in this tiny little secret room, Doing my best not to get hung up on all the amazing memories, that this one piece of furniture possesses. After all, this is the exact spot where Kaden taught me how to do a pushup, where we tried to hide three free puppies from our parents, where we stayed up all night laughing, and crying, and where we went from just being brother and sister to being friends for real. Sometimes when I sit here alone, it hits me, and it feels like 2 years and eternity are the exact same thing.. And I cry....and cry. But luckily, the stunning picture of the temple staring back at me, serves to remind me that there's probably another little sister somewhere in El Salvador. A little sister, who doesn't know that she can be with her big brother forever. There's also lots of families who don't know Christ at all, and so many lost people, searching for the truth. There is work to be done, and souls to be saved and a work that needs to come forward! The Lord sent Kaden, because he knows how strong that kid is, and he trusts him to take part in bringing back some of his most beloved souls:) the Lord knows me too, and he knows that I can handle two Kaden-less years, even when it's hard.

I love you Elder Smith. I know for a fact that I wouldn't be half of who I am if I didn't have your love, guidance, and friendship in my life. I can't wait to see all of the amazing things you'll do out there! We'll see ya in two!:)

Lit Up.

Today I got a text from my BFF, Sarah, with this lovely picture and a caption that read "I'm beautiful." In case you were wondering, no truer words have ever been written. Sweet Sarah, is one of the most beautiful people you will ever meet! And she's beautiful in an incredible way. You see, Sarah has an ability to see the good in others that no one else on this earth has. Unlike so many people her age, Sarah doesn't see labels. She'll tell you you're pretty even when you're rocking sweat pants, she'll be your best friend whether you're the homecoming queen, or the least liked person in the school. She'll never hold your mistakes against you. She'll never see your weaknesses, she'll just love you, unconditionally. In fact, Sarah's a lot like someone else I know, someone who I've never seen, but who's presence I feel everyday; someone named Jesus Christ. I know him a lot better now that I know her, and. I feel very blessed to be loved by a heart as pure as hers.

New obsession.

It's Kinda a crazy music video......but once you get passed that, you realize that you're in love with this song.:):)

My life is a children's book.

"And why would she be sad? After all, the little girl had two houses, two beds, and two sets of people that loved her"
-------------------------------------------

I don't think they've invented a number yet, that's even kind of close to how many times I've heard those sweet words. You see, in my childhood, that book was my favorite thing on planet earth. That's because it wasn't always easy having two homes. And there were times when I wondered "why me" and times when i envied my friends of simpler backgrounds. While the adversary always made a convincing case, that God put me through this because he couldn't see me, I know now, that actually, it's because he saw me ridiculously clearly. and he knew that I needed this to grow, to learn, to become better,and to be happy.

I feel so blessed to have had a chance to see the world through so many different sets of eyes. to have grown up with so many different traditions and memories. To be so loved, and accepted into families that I don't genetically belong to. But most of all, to have had the blessing of heartache and trials early on in my life. It taught me that I could do hard things, and how to have compassion on others. It helped me to have humility, and to never try to do this thing alone. I don't know what my life would be like if things were different, and I don't want to. Being loved and supported as much as I am, and having not only one but two safe places to call home, is the greatest blessing i could have asked for. I love both of my families so much and there's nothing better than getting to belong to them both.

It's time to begin, isn't it?

2012.......

 It was beautiful! but imagine dragons,  as usual, you are so right! 2013 is here, and just like 2012 it's sure to be another crazy, hard, splendid, scary, happy beautiful adventure! It's crazy think about it. In one years time I'll be a SENIOR at Lehi High School,who knows what will be happening or where I'll be, but  too quote  Mads yet agian,

     

    "The less time I spend scared, and worried, the less time I'll be consumed by it. And the more time I'll have to make memories. The present was once my future too. And I dreamed about how amazing it would be. I'm gonna do my younger self a favor and make this the best time of my life. Anyone wanna join me? Let's go have some fun. Let's laugh. Let's serve. Let's make new friends. Let's live like there IS a tomorrow. And that it will be another day to be happy, to reach new goals, and to have new experiences."

she is so wise! It's time to try new things, to fix old habits  to live and laugh and love and just be so happy! Life is a series of adventures! And I can't wait for the next one! Happy new year darlings!

  

New years resoulution?: To Take more pics! Seriously, these arent even mine...it's  pathetic....

       

Maddie Hyde,

Your blog Is lovely and so are you! You were my inspiration to start this in the first place...and you inspire me in so many flippin' ways it's not even funny. I love your post...I love you.

Home for Christmas;)

Yes...It is 1 am...and yes,I am being super lame and blogging right now.. But let's be honest, sleeping just isn't something that happens on Christmas eve:) at this moment in time, there is a seven year old little girl asleep in the room across from mine. There Is also an 18 year old blonde boy here who is celebrating his last Christmas In America. This house is filled with love tonight. It is the same love that was felt earlier tonight at our lovely wade family Christmas party. The same love that will be felt around Wendy's dinner table tomorrow, and the same love that's in Troy's sweet little boys and even,in Granny Smith's sweet holiday visit.:)

Christmas is a celebration of Christ's birthday, and if he could have anything for his birthday, I know for a fact, that it would be for families to come together, and to love and serve each other. I feel so ridiculously blessed to have so much family loving and serving me on this fine holiday:)

*That is all*

Merry Christmas to all...and to all a goodnight:)

One day.....

"You feel like you're falling backwards
Like you're slippin' through the cracks.You walk outside and all you see is rain, You look inside and all you feel is pain And you can't see it now...
But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there's a silver lining
Just keep holding on. every heartache makes you stronger But it won't be much longerYou'll find love, you'll find peace and the you you're meant to be
I know right now that's not the way you feel, But one day you will. Find the strength to rise above. Find just what you're made of. One day you will"

-Lady Antebellum


Sometimes...the sweetest silver lining you can find in a situation, is that it's not forever. That's how it feels right now. But with all that I am, I believe that one day I'll look back on everything I've been through, and know, that it was all for a reason, and a beautiful part of making me a much better person than I am right now:)

11.11

This morning, sister dearest asked me if I was jealous of her birthday. I didn't want to say yes. I didn't want her to have the satisfaction of having a better date of birth than I do! but come on guys, we all know how i answered that question!

This day coincides with my very favorite number, the most magical number of all, 11! For 120 seconds each day, 2 elevens beside each other bring me so much hope as they light up my cell phone screen. Today, that hope is doubled or even tripled! You see, all 24 hours of today are 11-11! So you'd better start wishing! This day is pure MAGIC!:)

Friday CAME.

For the past 16 and a half years, I have had a great friend by my side. He has lead me, he has helped me, he has loved me, and he has shown me how to be better. Part of me feels like losing that friend for two years is going to be really sad. But most of me, is filled with joy for my brothers and sisters in El Salvador and Belize, because now, this incredible young man is about to be their friend! He can lead them to the gospel, help them find their savior, love them, and show them how to be the very best they can be! There is no doubt in my mind he will change their lives, because friends, Kaden James Smith is the kind of person who changes lives, forever and for good!

South America, you have NO IDEA what you're in for! March 6th, 2013!

White as snow.

Last week, I sat around a familiar tree, with a familiar group of people. Because these people are all 16 years of age, the topic often circles back to that of driving. Each time we reach that conversation, I wait for the jab or mocking glare from P skousen. You see, he's seen me make some of the most terrible mistakes a driver can make and he's not very keen to let me forget them. But even, that left-side-of-the-road-can't-find-the-stop-sign incident he witnessed, was absolutely nothing compared to the many mistakes my father has seen me make in a motor vehicle.

The other day, I made such a mistake while backing out. Yet again i had caused damage to his car and I had done everything my very patient dad has repeatedly taught me not to do. When I talked to him about it a few seconds later, I fully expected there to be well deserved anger and frustration in his tone.

Instead, he just told me how to fix the problem, let me know everything was going to be okay, and even, gave me back the keys and let me try again.

My earthly father, was an absolutely beautiful representation of our heavenly father!

We all make mistakes, do things he has specifically taught us not to do, and sometimes, we even repeat mistakes from our pasts.

When we do, our father is not there to condemn us. He's not there to taunt us, or to make us feel inadequate because of our short-comings. just like my dad, he is there to love us, to remind us of the way back, and to help us start over when we fall short of the people we should be.

As someone who has fallen short countless times in my life time, I can testify that repentance is real. It is real because of our elder brother, Jesus Christ. No matter how far we feel we've strayed, how many ways we feel we have sinned, or how hopeless we feel we are, we will never sink below Jesus christ' atonement, or below our eternal father's perfect love for us.

I am so grateful to have this gospel in my life. And so grateful for the forgiveness which is constantly bestowed on me from my earthly family as well as from my heavenly parents!

The church is true guys. Know it. Live it and love it, because he loves you, I promise!

Heyyy Mattie Jane.....

Today, I found a really cute, worn out little Teddy bear. It reminded me of 1st grade.. And 3rd grade..and 7th grade! You see, so many of my most amazing memories are wrapped up in that thing! Just like theyre wrapped up in songs about cantelope, and in failed sledding adventures,and in the fray and high heels, and St.. George trips, but mostly, just, in you my dearest Mattie Jane cilvia guam Irish!! Growing up by your side has been an absolute delight and a pleasure! I can't believe how much we've made it through together, and I can't wait until we are crazy old ladies! You will probably chase me around the nursing home trying to hit me with your Kane! But I wouldn't have you any other way! You will always be my 74th cousin, and one of my dearest friends in this world! And I love you!

....just sayin.....

music is a magic thing!

Sunshine and 70's Music.

This blog is named after my childhood nickname, smiley, But lately, I have not lived up to that title at all! I've been ornery, pessimistic, angry, hurt and everything in between! Yes! grumpy teachers, family drama, and silly high school clicks have caused me to be everything except smiley!

Luckily for me, my best friends and sweet family make it impossible for that beastliness to last very long:) and if a visit to the temple and an attempted date with a fantastic young man wasn't enough to lift my spirits, there was also that lehi game turned wingers trip and that insane vintage dance party that followed! Not too mention the text from miss Kimmee wade, that kept me screaming for minutes on end:)

Always remember to look up, to count your blessings, and to never take anything for granted! because no matter how tough it gets, everything will be happy in the end, and if it's not happy, than it's not the end!:)

Obsessed.