Goodbye 2010!!!!

Oh my gosh I woke up this morning and reallized that this amazing year is ending! Its been fantastic!! Like one of the best years ever! Here are some of the highlights in order:
1: New years day! haha " There's a hobo in your window!":)
2. New begiginings with the original ward! I hate events that ruin my make up!
3. Joseph and The amazing Technicolar Dreamcoat!- I met sooooo many amazing people lots of which are still some of my dearest friends:)
4. WHEATIES- yes wheaties, cookies and cubed fruit!, but you dont understand this unless your name is Timothy Lewis Rollins or Audrey Marie Barron:)
5. Last week Of School!- The beggining of something truly beautiful and demented involving secret oaths, ants in dip and ofcourse..peach-o's!:)
6. EFY- what can I even say? It was amazing!:)
7.Trek- One of the most miserable, tortorus, awesome expiriences ever!
8. Extreme Make Over- Spiritual addition ofcourse! haha click, click slide, Telephone, Hoolio, umm I have leporsy so I get to wear really cool gloves!.Ill stop...this could go on for HOURS:)
9-THE LION KING- aaaah thanks for that one Wend:)
10- Becoming a ninth grader!- Do you have any idea how freaking amazing ninth grade is! I love it!
11- Party group- So being the biggest dorks in the ninth grade, we established a group of about a million people who party basically everyday!:)
12- New Family!- So even tho I didnt actually get to go to the wedding seeing as it was in a helocopter...:) I am glad for Jake, Kayla, Brinny and all the rest of my new family! Love you guys!:)

13- Christmas- Its always the best!

This isnt even like half of them, its just what I could pull out of my memory! Thanks everyone who contributed to this amazing year! It will be an even better 2011!

WE ARE WHO WE ARE!

So if you've ever seen the sisterhood of the traveling pants, then you have basically done the equivelent of watching  me, Maddie, Allie, Alesha, Mandy and Kaylie for two hours strait, in fact dont even rent the movie, just come to one of our parties and watch!:). I'm not exaggerating guys! We really are that ridiculous in every little detail of our oh so cheezy fourteen year old lives!:)
  Walt Disney is basically our idol----actually he is our complete and total idol We worship him so intensly that we are about three movie nights away from needing to talk to our bishops!:) Some people say that we are young for our age..thats probably because we act like we're five! Oh btw aside from disney our little play dates consist of stalking boys, going to the park and wrighting songs! We are strange kids....actually we're complete dorks! But we are who we are we have each other and we all know that the second we need anything there is always a listening ear no matter what the seriousness of the issue is!
  What I love most about these girls is how much they support me in the gospel, I mean really! We seem to get into spiritual discussions where ever we go and whatever were doing! Often times every day conversations turn into deep testimony meetings/devotionals....its so amazing! Im so glad for that support.
Besides that they are ALWAYS there for me, I can and do go to them with everything! They have become like my therapists! But laughing over stretchy pants, yellow, and other stupid stuff is the kind of therapy money CAN NOT buy! I love you guys! YOU ARE the best, best friends in the whole wide world

Silence.

You know, Brother Kidd is an amazing teacher, probably the best. His lessons leave deep impressions on me that I remember and apply to my life always, so today in seminary when he said he wasnt going to be teaching I was very confused! Little did I know that I would be hearing from a different teacher, one who knows me better then myself, one who loves me unconditionally and who knew exactly what I needed to hear!

One of the biggest difficulties I personally have struggled with for as far back as I can remember is forgivness. Recently all of the powers of the advesary had led me to believe that I had truly forgiven everyone who has hurt me, eventually I was even lying to myself.

" I forgive them, but I dont love them" became one of my most common thoughts. Today, however I learned just how wrong that is,and I learned what it means to forgive, forgivness IS love!

That truth can be demastrated ofcourse by Jesus Christ. How many times a day do I offend him? How many tears has he shed on my account and how much pain have I really caused him? And yet, he still loves me.

So how then, can I beleive that I dont owe that same respect to people who have offended me, who I have shed tears on account of and who cause me pain. Just as he suffered for my sins and I can repent, he suffered for their sins and they can repent! He only knows whats in their hearts and why they have made the choices they've made. He will make the final decisions, he will forgive who ever he forgives, but as for me, it is essential that I forgive everyone, regardless of if they're not sorry or if they continue to do the things that I once felt in my little pridful mind, were unforgivable.

Letting go of all of these emotions will be so hard, but I can only imagine how much more grief it causes the lord to see me feel that way and think that way, it has now become MY sin that I in fact, need to repent for. Jesus Christ lives, he suffered every pain so that we could become like him, and today in silence I learned what he meant when he said, "love one another AS I have loved you"

I love seminary, And the beautiful blessing it is in my life!

Sweet silver lining.

So Im gonna be honest fot a sec, when I saw that cast list today, Im pretty sure my heart sank into my stomack!  Actulally a little before that when dear parker high fived everyone next to me and then looked at me awkwardly and walked away ( but actually THAT was hilarious and it made my day) Inot making it  was just a little bit disopointing. I had been working really hard and I really wanted it! But this post is not a huge rant about not being good enough or wishing id made it or anything of the sort. This post is about how allie offered to go see tangled with me the second she found out i didnt make it. Its about how no matter what drama is going on in my family, there all there for me the second I need them. And its about the comfort that comes from getting on my knees and saying a prayer. Im not just talking about Seusical rite now. Recentley my life has been a little bit complicated. Ive been stressing and worrying and feeling sad alot lately and I think that in a weird way, the small disopointment of not making the play made me see how blessed I am.
    One night last year I woke up from what was probably one of the harderst things I would ever have to go through, that next morning, I felt so dead, so numb, I didnt want to feel anything anymore because I decided if  I felt nothing I wasnt feeling pain. But fortunatly it was a sunday and I could not ignore the immense prompting that I needed to go to church . Going that day was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I realized that the Lord was always there for me and that night, being the cheesy girl that I am, I made a wish on a star. Do you wanna know what I wished for? I wished that I would always be able to see the good in my life. Im pretty sure that wish can come true whenever I want it too. Im thankful for the mysterious ways in which the Lord works and for this little expirience that I needed and that I grew from. And now I have this awesome little movie moment because as I was wrighting this the perfect little Kate Voegle song came on, its by far one of my favorites:
" I may be week but Im never deafeted and Ill keep defeating the clouds with that sweet silver lining"